sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
