Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
