A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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