wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
