so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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