I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
