and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
