so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
