I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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