i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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