I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
