feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize