Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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