im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
