I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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