i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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