The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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