he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize