im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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