I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
