16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
