koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
