You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
