that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
