Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
