I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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