I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
