I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
