Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
