i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i was born a porn star she said
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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