love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Just pee around me
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
