I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
