I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
