we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
