I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I have aggressive nipples.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
