In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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