I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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