I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
So squirting runs in the family.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Randomize
