May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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