he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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