I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
