nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
