I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
