Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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