I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
