i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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