I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
only if we run a train.
done.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
