Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
