she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
