thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
