You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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