So drunk its hurt
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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