Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize