I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Randomize
