Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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