after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
