Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
