the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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