Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
