I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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