I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
