She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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